The “But What?” Behavior

We’re trained to look at our dogs and ask, “How do I stop that?”

Stop the jumping.
Stop the pulling.
Stop the barking.

But here’s the quiet truth: “How do I stop it?” is the wrong question.

The magic happens when you flip the script and ask a better one:
“What do I want my dog to do instead?”

That one shift rewrites the whole training plan.
Now you’re not fighting a behavior—you’re building one.
Not blocking chaos—giving clarity.

But What? starts with better questions.
Better questions create better choices.
And better choices turn into habits your dog can actually live in.

Why “But What?” Works

• Brains love clear jobs. “Don’t do X” leaves a hole. “Do Y” fills it.

• Incompatible beats impossible. A dog can’t jump if they’re stationed on a mat. Can’t pull if their nose is touching your hand target. Can’t bark at the window if they’re doing a pattern game away from it.

• Reinforcement wins. Behaviors that pay get repeated. We make the right thing the easy, obvious, and rewarding thing.

The But-What Flow (simple and repeatable)

1. Name the problem quickly. (Jumping, pulling, door mayhem, window barking, etc.)

2. Ask “But what do I want?” Pick an incompatible behavior: station, hand target, check-in, heel bubble, sniff scatter, pattern, etc.

3. Train the replacement in an easy picture. Quiet room → short reps → great pay.

4. Add a cue & pay big. Make the new behavior crystal clear and worth it.

5. Bring in the trigger after fluency. Guests ring? Dog goes to mat. Squirrel appears? Dog touches hand.

6. Manage so the old habit can’t rehearse. Gates, leashes, covered windows, pre-set mats.

7. Keep reps short, wins high, and criteria honest. One slider at a time (distance or duration or distraction).

Common But-What Upgrades (fast swaps that work)

• Jumping at people → “Place.”
  But what? Go to your mat when the door opens.

  • Train “place” in the quiet.

  • Add door sounds, then a helper.

  • Reinforce staying while the human enters.

  • Release to greet after four paws stay grounded.

• Leash pulling → Hand target + Check-ins.
  But what? Touch → reward near your leg; voluntary eye flicks = jackpot.

  • Play target games indoors.

  • Take them to the driveway, then the block.

  • Pay like a slot machine for early check-ins outside.

• Window barking → Pattern game away from glass.
  But what? Orient to you → move to a station → reward chain.

  • Cover sightlines while you’re building the new pattern.

  • Pair quiet “thank you” with the turn-away movement.

  • Reinforce calm at the station longer than feels necessary.

• Door dashing → Boundary + Release.
  But what? Sit/stand behind a line until released.

  • Practice when no one’s leaving.

  • Door crack becomes a cue for stillness pays.

  • Add easy exits with mega reinforcement for holding the boundary.

• Counter surfing → Settle on a kitchen mat.
  But what? Park on your mat while food happens.

  • Mat = treats rain from the sky.

  • Gradually increase cooking movement; keep criteria honest.

  • Bonus: pre-chew or lick mat to make staying self-soothing.

Bagheera & Roo: But-What in Real Life

Roo (toy hustler).
Old habit: half-bring, parade, nudge, escalate.
But what? “Front & drop.”
We trained: target in front → clean drop → immediate toss or treat. The parade vanished because the paycheck lived at my feet.

Bagheera (door excitement).
Old habit: pogo-stick greetings.
But what? “Place then greet.”
We split it: place for 3 seconds → release to greet calm humans → back to place → release again. Bags learned that staying earns greeting faster than bouncing.

Troubleshooting the But-What Swap

• “They know it inside, but fall apart outside.”
  Shrink the picture. Raise pay, drop difficulty. One slider at a time.

• “They do it once, then unravel.”
  Fewer, shorter reps. End on a win. Celebrate small.

• “They’re still choosing the old habit.”
  Manage harder (prevent rehearsal), and make your new behavior irresistibly rewarding for a while. Habit > logic.

• “My timing is messy.”
  Use your clicker. Mark the instant the new behavior appears, then feed like you mean it.

But-What vs “No”

“No” can interrupt, but it doesn’t teach.
But What teaches. It answers the dog’s real question:
“If not that… what?”

Once the replacement is fluent and paid well, “no” mostly retires itself. The dog chooses the job that works.

Quick Start Plan (today)

1. Pick one problem you see daily.

2. Choose one incompatible behavior.

3. Do three one-minute sessions in the easiest room.

4. Pay ten tiny wins, not one perfect rep.

5. Add one baby trigger tomorrow. Repeat.

Consistency beats intensity. Every. Single. Time.

Closing Thought

“But What?” is kindness with a backbone.
It respects the dog’s needs and the household’s sanity by giving a clear, reinforced job to do when life gets spicy.

Next time you’re tempted to shout “Stop!”, pause and ask, “But what do I want instead?”
Then teach that—on purpose—until it’s the habit that runs on autopilot.